I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
