she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
