No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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