similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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