we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
