I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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