I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
