Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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