It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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