Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
