Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
