oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
