I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
