I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
