I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Watching her eat just hurts me
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
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