It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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