He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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