the new term for farting is butt boxing.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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