don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
FUCK WHALES
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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