At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
