Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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