Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
