And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
