i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
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