WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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