sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
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Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
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Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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