Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
