Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
