Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
