The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
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Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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