I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
