She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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