Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize