the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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