thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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