So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just googled if crying burns calories
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize