Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
A bitchslap is in order.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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