Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Randomize
