I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Randomize
