I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize