remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I need to calm my uterus...
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
