Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
