How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Please, let me fuck your mom
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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