david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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