Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
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