I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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