Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
