Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
