ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
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