There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
