Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
