She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
