We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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