i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
