marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
