Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
