he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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