Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
