even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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