I'm laying in your front yard are you home
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
