what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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