He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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