Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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